Have reasonable expectations

I am an idealist. I have always believed in storybook proms, where your immature high school boyfriend magically turns into Prince Charming, brings you roses and dances with you during all the sappy slow songs.

So, when my prom went completely awry, you can imagine how disappointed I was. No roses, no being swept off my feet, and certainly no Prince Charming. Needless to say, my views of "storybook" proms have changed a bit, and although I hate to admit it, these kinds of magical fantasies – usually stay so.

However, as an eternal optimist, I refuse to succumb to cynicism, so I propose this to you: prom can be all you ever wanted it to be – as long as what you want it to be is realistic. I have found the key factor in making or breaking your prom night is to have manageable expectations. In almost all situations, prom included, having too high of expectations will lead to their not being met. At the same, having too low of expectations could give rise to accepting less than what you deserve.

You definitely deserve a memorable, happy prom nig

Because you only have the control to change how you feel and not how other external factors will go, most of the modification of expectations must come from within. You will have to utilize your maturity and confidence to alter your perspective on prom night. However, managing your expectations is certainly easier said than done. To help you, here are several ways to adjust your attitude and find prom bliss no matter the situation.

First, if you tend to let expectations soar too high, “expecting the worse” will keep those expectations in check. This is to not say you shouldn’t look forward to your prom; just go in on prom night assuming your boyfriend won’t bring you roses or your bobby-pinned, hair-sprayed French twist is bound to come undone. Because if the opposite of these things happen, imagine how pleasantly surprised you will be. And if these things happen the way you had assumed they would, well, you had told yourself they would, so you shouldn’t be disappointed. Psychological manipulation is a powerful thing; you can train (or trick) your mind into believing something that you had never thought possible. The key is to begin this line of thought early on, so that your mind has time to adjust to the new expectations and fully believe them.

Second, go in with one realistic goal. This is a bit similar to expecting the worst, but with a twist. Here is an example: before I studied abroad in Spain for a semester, all I ever heard about studying abroad was how much fun I would have and how it would be the best experience of my life. With these expectations, it was difficult to keep my hopes from getting too high; I didn’t want to just expect that I would have the time of my life. So, I decided prior to leaving that if the only thing I gained while being in Spain was two new friends, then I would be satisfied with my study abroad experience. Needless to say, I made many more than just two new friends, and I most definitely had the best time of my life.

While studying abroad is vastly different from going to prom, the same idea can come into play: for example, if you have the realistic goal for your prom night of “I will be happy even if the only thing that happens at prom is that I get to dance with my crush,” chances are, prom will not only fulfill that goal, but it will exceed it, just as my time abroad did. Dancing with a specific person is a reasonable, achievable expectation, because you have the control to go up to him and ask him to dance with you. By choosing objectives you can control, you are placing the chances in your favor that you will accomplish that goal on prom night. Once your goal is accomplished, you can look back and see how prom was worthwhile and gave you everything you wanted.

Having reasonable expectations should not preclude your getting excited for prom. Rather, going into prom feeling confident that you won’t be disappointed is reason in and of itself to be enthusiastic. So, instead of feeling nervous or anxious, wondering how your prom night will turn out or if your childhood crush will romantically get up on stage and declare his love for you in front of your entire graduating class, you can look forward to a night that will fulfill your expectations and leave you with your very own version of a storybook prom.