Choose the right prom date

For those of you in a relationship, choosing a prom date seems like it will be a piece of cake. But is it really?

I went with my boyfriend to prom. His name was Miles, and because it was a relatively young relationship at the time, we were in that “honeymoon” phase where we saw no flaws in each other. I remember thinking how lucky I was, that I didn’t have to go through the angst of finding a prom date or worrying about whether or not a boy will ask me to prom. I remember thinking how lucky I was, that I got to spend my prom with “someone special.”

I haven’t spoken to my prom date/ex-boyfriend since the morning after my prom night.

As my experience illustrates, going to prom with your boyfriend or girlfriend does not necessarily mean you will have the storybook, ideal prom you had always imagined. Mine was far from it; my ex-boyfriend refused to rent a tuxedo, stayed up all night the day before prom after I explicitly told him to get some rest, paid for none of the cost, and didn’t want to dance.

Needless to say, choosing the person with whom to spend your prom warrants much thought and consideration. You only get one senior prom, and most people, me included, yearn for the memorable, perfect prom night we remember from “Saved by the Bell.” And so you want to spend that night with the person who will best give you the kind of prom you want. That may be your boyfriend, your childhood crush, or your best friend – or it may not.

It all depends on what your goal is for your prom

Prom night to you may symbolize romance and roses, and so going with a significant other would most likely achieve this goal. However, prom can certainly mean other things: fun time with friends, losing your virginity, nostalgia. And different people will help you reach that goal; for example, if all you want to do is get laid on prom night, then go to prom with someone you have a sexual attraction to and vice versa. If you want nostalgia from your prom night, go with a friend you’ve known all your life and who has been there to see you grow.

Developing these goals is important because there is a lot of cooperation on both parts that is needed to plan a truly special prom. Prom night can sometimes cost a lot and involves much planning and preparation. However, if you and your date have the same goals and are on the same page, then your prom should go the way you want it to go.

The challenge, however, is taking what you think your goal is (i.e, romantic prom night) and adjusting it to fit your current situation. If you don’t have a boyfriend but you want an intimate, romantic night with someone, chances are you won’t find a guy whose vest ironically matches your dress the day before prom. That’s okay – just be realistic and determine other ways that will provide you a good time. If fun with friends is another priority for you, then ask a good guy friend of yours to go with you and make it more casual. You won’t regret that, I promise.

I look back and envy the friends of mine who went to prom with their close guy friends. Not only did they have a great time together, but they’re still friends now, unlike me and my long gone ex-boyfriend. In fact, a friend of mine has been dating her prom date – a guy she had been “just friends” with at the time – ever since.

This should give everyone – especially those of you who are single and looking for the perfect prom date – hope. You don’t have to rush into a relationship or think you need a significant other to have the storybook prom you want. When you step away from the situation and truly think about what is important –friends, a great memory, great stories – you may find the best prom date for you is the one you had never thought would make it so.

And for those of you who do have a boyfriend you can take to prom, just be warned: if your date is the only guy at school not renting a tuxedo, it might be time to get a new prom date…and probably a new a boyfriend while you’re at it.